This is one of those nights where sleep just won't come. I'm exhausted. It's been a long day, and I feel like I've been running since early this morning (or yesterday morning). This has happened before. Every time I close my eyes, I see his smile. It's so quiet right now that I can hear his laugh and his voice. Sound like I'm going crazy? Maybe I am... but I am just missing Todd tonight.
On these nights when the pain feels unbearable, I try to pray. I ask for comfort, for ease of pain, but then I start praying for others and begin thanking God for all that I have. Most times this works, and sleep comes easily after giving it all to Him. But some nights, like tonight, the pain keeps insisting on nagging and festering until the tears come and I feel like I am going to completely fall apart.
I know God is here.
I know God loves me.
I know He has promised to guide and direct.
I know He is the God of comfort and understands this pain like no one else can.
Now it's time to trust Him, keep praying for others, and give thanks...but it still hurts.
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