Dear Todd...

I'm not sure why I'm crying again and it hurts so badly knowing I will never see you again on this earth. I miss you more than words can say. I would do anything to hear your voice, feel your touch, see your smile... I could go on and on. I know God is here, and yes, He is my comfort and "husband," but I'm telling you....I miss your presence here so very much. My heart aches to night. I need one of your hugs. I need to hear you tell me that you love me. I need to see your smile and talk with you again. I don't think I can do this anymore, Todd. The kids are all adults now, and the younger ones are acting like adults. I have a feeling I've lost all respect from them, and I can't even tell if they love or care about me. I know they do, but I can't feel it. I never doubted or felt this way about your love for me. What is wrong with me, hon? I need you here. I miss you so very, very much. Another election. Wish you were here. Another fall. Wish you were here. November 2, 2012. Wish you were here. Toby just turned 9! Wish you were here. Eban and Aaron are growing up so fast! Wish you were here. Had chik-fil-a tonight. Wish you were here. Sitting here alone in our room. Wish you were here. :(