Aug 1, 2009

painful memories still linger...

Whenever one of the children got hurt, I always asked Todd what he thought....worthy of calling the doctor? or ER visit? What did he think? What should we do? And he was the one who tended to the wound, took out splinters, made the medical decisions necessary...

I was and still am not very good with medical things, especially blood. When Todd was sick, I had to take Nathan to get stitches in his hand. I couldn't watch as they stitched his hand; in fact, I almost got sick just being in that atmosphere! When it was time to put a new bandage on, Nathan went into Dad and had him do it.

Last week Winter hurt her finger. I tried to ignore it, but finally ended up taking her to get it checked. Today I had to re-tape the hurt finger. Our ped gave me instructions and showed me the medical tape to use, but I didn't even think we had any at home. I was wrong. The kids reminded me of the box of supplies that NIH allowed us to keep from when Todd was so sick. There was tape in the box. Looking at the tape again, brought back so many memories. Friends and friends of friends would take turns and come every day, sometimes twice a day, and tend to Todd's medical needs here at home. They would give IV's, change his bandage, take his blood pressure... what a blessing that was!

Remembering those days, even now, is painful, however I praise God for the blessings through that difficult time in our lives. To watch my husband slowly lose his life was indeed, very painful. I remember the cane he used because of his lost vision. I remember the walker he had to use as he slowly lost strength in his legs. I remember the wheelchair he had. And I remember the evening he could no longer get out of bed or even sit up. I remember when we had to give him his medicine in a straw, because he could no longer swallow. It was not easy watching the love of your life lie in that hospital bed and slowly die before your eyes.

Yet the house was literally filled with family and friends, and some I didn't even know who came to be of some help and support. God was so good. Even though the memories can be painful, I can still praise God for His Hand of care and blessings on me through it all.