5 Years Ago...

Another email I wrote:

Also, Todd had a catscan done this morning, and they called after lunch and told him they found an "irregularity on the right kidney," so he has to have another MRI asap. The pain is getting worse...

Anyway, I hope all is well there. We're going to try to get our Christmas tree tomorrow, if todd can handle the trip! ugh.

5 Years Ago...

Here's what I wrote in an email:

It's hard to believe another Christmas is coming so soon. Todd does such a good job with our decorations, but this weekend he wasn't able to do anything but get rid of the pumpkins and hay bales! He's been having pain in his lower back now for months, and the dr told him when he first complained about it, that it was muscular. Then they said he had blood in his urine, so after seeing a urologist (sp?) Friday, they think it may be something to do with his kidneys. No sign of any stones or infection, though. He's a mystery too! He's had so many tests lately, that he's getting frustrated with no answers and still in pain. He's starting to think he's just going to have live with the pain. Now they want him to get a catscan. He's not happy.

Exclusion

Ever feel excluded when you really aren't? I do. I'm invited to a lot of church functions and dinner invitations for families. We are invited, as a family. Yet somehow when we attend these things, I feel excluded. I don't feel like our whole family is present, and the fact is it's not.

There are other exclusions as well. It's a hard reality to live not being a wife anymore, but still a mother. Single parenting is tough enough, but it also has a negative stigma with it, especially in Christian circles. This is not easy, and often leaves me feeling excluded.

And what about the church as a whole? Most everyone my age with children are married. When talking about being a good wife, I'm excluded. When talking about fathers of our children, I'm excluded.

The exclusions hurt in the deepest part of my being, in my soul. I'm so thankful that the Holy Spirit is in that deepest part as well, and can comfort and soothe like no one else can. He understands like no one. He cares like no one. He NEVER excludes....thank you, God. What and where would I be without you? Thank you.