5 years Ago, on the 12th of January

A lady called from NIH this morning, and said the soonest they can see Todd is next Wednesday, and this was "prioritized." They want us there early Wed morning, and she said it would be a long day. He'll actually be admitted in the morning, and then we'll spend the day there, going over all the slides, tests, and scans and talking with the drs in the afternoon, after another physical exam, to determine how to proceed. She said it looks like they will schedule surgery asap to remove his kidney, then treat the metassi...(sp?) in his lung after recovery.

The lady suggested we come down Tuesday afternoon and stay in a hotel, because she said Wed will be a long day for Todd. That's fine, but what do I do with Toby? Mom could never handle her at night....I can barely handle her! ugh. I know it will probably be too much to travel early in the morning then spend the day there and drive home. Todd is too weak to do that. I'll have to keep praying, and maybe Toby will be feeling better and sleeping better by then.

Sometimes I just want to cry, Betty. It feels so overwhelming. We just come off of yesterday's "high" with good news, and now I feel like the weight of the world is back on me. Todd's back to feeling terrible, said he had a bad night (I wouldn't know, since I spent the night in the living room with Toby), and he's in a lot of pain. Oh, I need to call about his pain med, too, don't I? I give up. How can I do all this???? I know, one step at a time. One hour at a time...